Kids, sometimes in life you’ll make a pit for someone in your mind but ultimately the only person in that pit is yourself…which means there’s only one person who can let you out of the pit.. You – Ted Mosby, HIMYM
Physical Body & Longevity – If I cannot love my body, how can I truly love myself? This was our intention for the week. We each chose a part of our body that we wanted to heal. I chose my heart. With every physical healing, comes the healing of emotions that caused or aggravates the condition in the first place. The heart is the area where one gives and receives love, blessings and healing, where one forgives and shows compassion. The meditation led by Brenda was highly visual as usual. But from the moment it started to the moment I was back in my space, I was deeply aware that I had to let go and forgive. The meditation, gave me that clarity- that what no longer served me (low vibration emotions) – had no place in my heart any longer
The first two days after the meditation – I tried releasing suppressed anger, only for more anger to build. The more I meditated the more I felt like a pressure cooker – bottling all the suppressed emotions inside. Those who know me well know that it is very uncharacteristic of me to lose my cool, but these two days, I was actively trying to bring my temper down and keep my emotions under control. No matter which meditation I tried, I would get relief for a few hours but eventually some circumstance would remind me that I had a lot of suppressed emotions to face and let go.
There is a reason why I comparing myself to a pressure cooker – because at some point, it blows- the steam will release. I have always advised others to never take their frustrations out on another. But, this time, I did not practice what I preached. That Saturday night, two days after the session, I had an unfortunate argument with my family. Shamefully, I had snapped and took my frustrations out on my family. I regretted it immediately and apologized immediately after. But the deed was done. I meditated and went to bed that night with deep regret and awareness of how shamefully I had behaved. My heart was set on somehow releasing these negative vibrations.
Sunday morning, as soon as I woke up, I browsed through YouTube and found Louise Hay’s Anger Release and Forgiveness Meditation. In this meditation, she talks about calling the energy of five people who I was angry with to come forward. 2 of the 3 people I called for anger release and forgiveness was myself and the Universe/God. Surprise! Surprise! I followed the meditation to a T. It was intense and extremely cathartic. I cried like a baby. It was wonderful. I felt free. And then I started to get unbearably tired. But I had a meeting to attend that morning. And sure enough, as the meeting approached a close, I was intensely tired and unable to breathe. I made it back home, got sick and spend the rest of the day in bed, recovering from the immense release and healing that my heart went through that morning. After that, I realized that I had released all the hurt, resentment and pain that I had unconsciously bottled up inside – I had fulfilled the intention set out for this week. I was back to normal again, I was me again. If anyone told me said or did anything unreasonable, I was not even annoyed, instead I laughed it off. I’m feeling lighter than ever. I still am doing Louise Hay’s meditation and will continue to do it for as long as I need it – because we are all always evolving and growing. While, this week has been fairy-tale and fiasco rolled into one, it has been a blessing nonetheless as I, for one, am grateful that I’m no longer holding onto what no longer serves me.
Thank you Brenda creating a safe space for me to grow into my full potential for love.